9.7 Document for Analysis: Saying No to Time Off for Newborns in Need (Objs. 1–5)
Your Task. Analyze the following poorly written e-mail, and list its weaknesses. If your instructor directs, revise it using the suggestions you learned in this and previous chapters.
To: Amanda Fox
From: Gabriel Lugo
Subject: Pulling Plug on Newborns in Need
Cc:
Bcc:
Hey, Foxie, you’re one in a million. But we can’t give you time off to work on that charity fashion show/luncheon thingy you want to coordinate. And Financial Solutions can’t make a big contribution as we’ve done in previous years. It’s no, no, no, all the way around.
Look, we admire the work you have done for the Newborns in Need Foundation. It has raised millions of dollars to make differences in the lives of babies, particularly premature ones. But we need you here! Hey, let’s think about us.
With the upcoming release of our Planning Guide 3.0, we need you to interview clients. We need you to make video testimonials, and you are the one to search for stories about customer successes. Plus a zillion other tasks! Our new website will launch in just six short weeks, and all that killer content stuff must be in final form. With the economy in the tank and our bare-bones staff, you certainly must realize that each and every team member must be here and making a difference. If our Planning Guide 3.0 doesn’t make a big splash, we’ll all have a lot of time off.
Due to the fact that we’re the worldwide leader in on-demand financial planning and reporting software, and in view of the fact that we are about to launch our most important new product ever, you just gotta understand our position. When things get better, we might be able to return back to our past practices. But not now! Gabe
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